How to Convince Your Spouse to See a Financial Adviser

We recently got some feedback from a listener who said she is loving the podcast (thank you!) and is now listening to all the episodes starting from the very first one. She is also keen to meet with us – but her husband is reluctant – and she would like to know whether she should come on her own. 

In our experience, things tend to go a lot more smoothly when both members of a couple are willing to see a Financial Adviser. It’s much easier to work with the couple together, particularly when it comes to reaching financial goals. There are many analogies we could use – like rowing a boat with one paddle – to describe why seeing an adviser alone would be a little more tough. Of course, you would still get some value out of it – but we think that it would be better to spend that time and energy chatting to your partner about coming in together. 

Things you could do:

1. 1. 1. Understand your partner’s reluctance.
         Try to understand why your partner doesn’t want to see an adviser. Don’t just assume they’re being difficult – there is always a reason, whether it’s subconscious or not. Examples could be: fear of losing money or being ripped off by a dodgy adviser, not wanting to talk about finances and having to ‘face the music’, not wanting to see the last 30 years of their working life reduced to a single spreadsheet, or not wanting to be told they’re in a difficult position financially. 
         
         
      2. Reassure your partner that nothing is locked in.
         There's always a way out – seeing an adviser doesn’t mean you’re locked in to anything long term. There is no pressure, and the ball is always in your court.
         
         
      3. Have an initial meeting with a Financial Adviser.
         The initial meeting is really just a chat. They will ask about what things you want in the future; where you want to be in ten years’ time. Often the case is that one partner has thought about it but the other hasn’t. They’ll just ask you some questions to get you talking and thinking. 

We find that sometimes even our long-term clients (and couples who are great communicators) have things they haven’t discussed or thought about. There’s one couple Dallas meets with, often on a Saturday morning, who always leave the meeting admitting to Dallas that they are going straight to the local pub to continue the new questions or topics he’s raised with them.

Whether or not your partner wants to talk about your finances, it’s like going to the doctor – nobody likes it, but it’s a good thing to do. Being healthy is important; in this case both physically and financially. 

Remember, it’s not the Financial Adviser’s job to tell you what to do, or what choices to make – that is completely up to you. They are just there to discuss the strategies and show you the trajectory of your decisions.

Good luck!