When discussing money in a relationship, it's not rare for arguments or disagreements to occur... We're only human. Being aware of the reasons why, however, can help with the communication process and understanding of one another.
The following 5 reasons that couples argue over money are what we have commonly seen in our office:1. Values not aligned.
- If there is something that’s important to one member, and the other doesn’t care or understand, arguments are bound to happen.
- If you are clear about your values and what’s important to you, it’ll be easier to have the discussion about what you are going to focus your money on.
- You don’t necessarily need to agree but understanding one another can help you make decisions that are fair to the both of you.
2. One member of the couple may feel that their work or contribution is not being respected/valued.
- This doesn’t necessarily mean someone in the couple doesn’t value their partners contributions, it’s more the fact that one person may FEEL as their contribution may not be respected.
- What one might believe in their own head might not actually be the case.
- Communication is key here.
3. Different levels of financial literacy.
- In any household, each member has their certain roles to play in the family. In most cases, there is one member who predominantly takes care of the financials.
- If you are the partner who has taken this role, more than likely you’ll have a deeper understanding on what is going on because you have those years behind you of looking at this.
- Be aware of this when communicating with your partner.
4. Lack of clear communication.
- The obvious point is that communicating your financial needs/plans with one another is a must.
- However, it’s just as important to ensure that you are articulating your points across in a clear and easy manner for the other member of the relationship.
- This will avoid frustrations and misunderstanding.
5. Different decision-making processes.
- Someone may be quicker to make decisions while the other may need more time to think about the issue.
- It’s important that both members of the couple can have the time and space they need to make their decision without being pushed too much to do so.
- Once both members are able to come to their decision, they automatically will have the feeling of owning that decision and actions are more likely to be followed through with.
Written by Ali Hogue